


Dumb Thotticus

by PandoraTheExplorer



Series: Month of Drabbles Challenge 2018 [18]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, stop slutshaming iruma people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 08:54:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16082735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraTheExplorer/pseuds/PandoraTheExplorer
Summary: Prompt by @purplenerd-2187 on tumblr: "amami crying because people called him a thot"Amami and Iruma have a very important conversation.





	Dumb Thotticus

**Author's Note:**

> Day 25 of my 2018 Month of Drabbles Challenge.

“Hey Iruma,” Amami said, stepping into said inventor’s lab, “Can I ask you something?”

Iruma stopped wrestling with her monkey wrench and looked up. “What do you want?” she sneered, “What’s so important that you had to waste the precious time of Iruma Miu-hey don’t sit there!”

Amami looked down at the tiny robot he almost put his butt on and shuffled away from the workbench. “Sorry,” he said, “You just seem like you’d know the most about this stuff.”

“’Course I would,” Iruma snorted, “I know everything. What is it?”

Amami hesitated. “Iruma,” he finally said, “am I a thot?”

Iruma was still for a good five seconds before she burst into laughter. “Oh my god,” she gasped, wiping away a tear and leaving a smear of black grease on her cheek, “Of course you are. I can tell just by looking at you. You’re almost as much of a thot as me.”

Amami’s face turned bright red. “How can you tell just by looking?” he said defensively, “You’ve barely known me for two days!”

“Two days is enough!” Iruma barked, “I’ve never met a guy who wears that much jewelry who wasn’t a thot. You’re overcompensating for that tiny dick or something. I don’t know.

“Are you serious?” Amami held up his necklace. “This was a gift from my little sister for my fourteenth birthday!”

“Sounds gay, thot!” Iruma hooted.

“Ugh!” Amami threw his hands up. “I should have known not to come to you! You never take anything seriously.”

“Eek!” Iruma flinched. Amami paused on his way out of the lab to watch her reaction curiously. “I’m telling the truth, though! You do look like a thot!”

“How do I look like a thot?” Amami demanded.

“You go around flirting with everyone you talk to,” Iruma pointed out, “and you wear a ton of eyeliner. Where does Monokuma even get that much eyeliner for you to wear?”

“I don’t flirt with everyone I talk to,” Amami said, “And I wear the eyeliner because I like looking pretty, not because I’m a thot.”

“You totally flirt with everyone you talk to,” Iruma said, “You’re always using your flirty voice. You’re even using it now.”

“That’s just my regular voice!”

Iruma stared at Amami incredulously and blinked a few times. “No way,” she declared, “There’s no way that’s just your regular voice and you’re not just purposely making it sound sexy all the time.”

“My voice is sexy?”

“Of course it is.” Iruma picked up a piece of machinery and started to fiddle with it. “I guess you wouldn’t be able to tell, though, if it’s your actual voice.”

“So…am I a thot, then?”

Iruma sighed. “How about you tell me?” she said, “Do you try to fuck every person you come across?”

“I’m asexual,” said Amami.

“Then you’re not a fucking thot!” said Iruma. “What?” she added when she saw Amami’s relieved expression, “What’s wrong with being a thot? I self-identify as a thot, you know! Everyone loves me!”

“No they don’t.”

“No they don’t.”

Amami pondered Iruma’s question for a while. Why was he so worried about if he was a thot? Why was Iruma not worried that she was a thot?

“I guess…being a thot is just shameful,” he said. He took a step back when he saw Iruma’s murderous expression. “I mean…everyone shames you if you have a lot of sex. I never really thought about why they do it but I know they do it, and I don’t want to be shamed for something that I don’t even do.”

Iruma set her robot on a workbench. The little robot clattered away, playing a voice clip of Iruma shouting “PENIS!!!” at the top of her lungs. “I don’t really see why everyone hates talking about sex,” she said, “It’s fun and it feels good, and most people do it at one point or another. You said sex isn’t for you, and that’s cool, I guess, but I think it’s great, which is why I’m always trying to get laid.”

“Do people make fun of you for having so much sex?” Amami asked.

“Hell yeah they do,” Iruma said, “They can call me a slut or a whore all they want, but when someone wants to get laid, who do you think they’re going to find?” She tossed her monkey wrench up and down. “I’ll bet you all my patent money that I have more experience in sex than any of the dumbass virgins in this school.”

“Hey!”

“I don’t mean you,” Iruma said, “You don’t want to get laid. I’m talking about the dipshits who want to get some of that but make fun of people like you because they think you’re a ‘thot.’” She paused. “Who called you a thot again? Besides me?”

“Well,” Amami said, “Shirogane didn’t say ‘thot,’ but she said I looked like a playboy.”

Iruma spread her hands as if to prove a point. “See?” she said, “Dumbass virgin right there.”

“Oma did actually call me a thot.”

“And there’s another one!” Iruma chuckled. “A thot is basically someone who likes to have a lot of sex,” she said, “so obviously I fit that description. And I’m proud of it too! But people who use that word to insult me are ridiculous.”

“My sister once told me, ‘All women are queens,’” Amami said.

Iruma shrugged. “No reason you can’t be both,” she said, “This one guy I fucked said that if I breathed I was a thot so I told him that I’d be a thot even if someone strangled me. With people that make fun of you for you thottiness, you should just punch them in the face. I did.”

“Oh,” said Amami, “Should I go punch Oma in the face, then?”

Iruma cackled. “Go get’em, ya virgin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I like to headcanon that Amami is ace.


End file.
